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Awakening on the Yangtze (A fiction)

 Awakening on the River

Chapter 1: Memories of the River Town

This was a small town embraced by the river, nestled between steep mountains on both sides. It was 2003, and the Yangtze River flowed slowly past the stilt houses by the riverbank, though they were making their final farewell to the water. The Three Gorges Project was about to start storing water soon. Everything was falling apart because of it. The familiar streets and houses now seemed forcibly pieced together, only to be toppled by the roar of machines and buried into deep pits.

At the docks, demolition sites and moving vehicles were mixed together, with people bustling in the dust. The shouts of workers and the roar of machinery intertwined, making the place especially noisy. The crowd and the commotion made Li Mingyuan, standing on the rooftop of his high school building, even more restless. He gazed out at the scene, once familiar, now strange.

Memories surged like a tide. When he was young, life in his hometown was peaceful and quiet. On summer evenings, he often played by the river with his friends, catching small fish and shrimp in the water. The snack stalls by the docks emitted the spicy scent of Sichuan cuisine, while in the teahouses on the old street, the elderly gathered to drink tea and play cards. From time to time, a burst of laughter could be heard. Life was simple, yet full of warmth and the spirit of the countryside. What troubled him more now was his own future. It was senior year, and the college entrance exams were looming. The path ahead was full of uncertainties.

"Mingyuan, daydreaming here again?" Lin Xiaoyu's voice interrupted his thoughts from behind.

Li Mingyuan turned around and saw Lin Xiaoyu smiling at him. The sunlight shone on her long hair, casting a faint halo. His heart involuntarily quickened.

"Xiaoyu, why are you here?" Li Mingyuan tried to keep his voice calm.

"Mr. Zhang asked me to find you. He wants to discuss next week's mock exam." Lin Xiaoyu walked over to him and looked out at the distant orange sunset, slowly fading. The chaotic scene was softened by the dimming light. The small town, under the shadow of the steep mountains, was gradually quieting down, and all the imperfections were hidden in the growing darkness. "It's so beautiful. I've never seen such a mesmerizing sunset."

Li Mingyuan nodded, but inside, he was struggling. How much he wanted to tell her that in his eyes, nothing was more beautiful than her. But that vague feeling was something he could never express.

"By the way, Mingyuan, have you decided where you want to go to college?" Lin Xiaoyu suddenly asked.

Li Mingyuan shook his head. "Not yet, but I want to see the world out there. Maybe Beijing, maybe Shanghai—any bustling city. What about you?"

"Me?" Lin Xiaoyu smiled. "I want to get into Tsinghua. It’s hard, but I’ll work for it."

Looking at the determination in her eyes, Li Mingyuan felt a mix of admiration and a tinge of sadness. He knew that with her grades, getting into Tsinghua wasn’t an unattainable dream. As for him, although his grades were good, getting into a top university required even more effort.

Just then, Mr. Zhang’s voice came over the loudspeaker: "Li Mingyuan, please come to the office."

"Let’s go. Don’t make Mr. Zhang wait." Lin Xiaoyu tugged at Li Mingyuan's sleeve.

In the office, Mr. Zhang was grading papers. Seeing Li Mingyuan come in, he looked up and smiled kindly. "Mingyuan, I’ve seen your mock exam results. You've improved a lot."

Li Mingyuan felt a bit embarrassed. "Thank you, teacher. I'll keep working hard."

"I know you've always been diligent." Mr. Zhang stood up and patted him on the shoulder. "Mingyuan, you’ve got potential. Don’t let your surroundings limit you. The world out there is vast, full of opportunities. Keep going, and you’ll achieve your dreams."

Hearing his teacher's encouragement, a warm feeling surged in Li Mingyuan’s heart. He knew that in this small town surrounded by mountains and rivers, the teachers were constantly trying to broaden the students' horizons, encouraging them to pursue a bigger world.

As he left the office, Mr. Zhang’s words echoed in his mind. He looked out the window. The river was still quietly flowing, carrying with it the dreams of this town and its people. In the distance, a few cargo ships were slowly passing by, their foghorns faintly heard, as if calling to distant lands. He silently made up his mind: he would work even harder to see the world beyond. Hopefully, with Xiaoyu by his side.

Chapter 2: A Twist of Fate

As the spring of 2003 was drawing to a close, Li Mingyuan and Lin Xiaoyu, along with several other classmates, advanced to the finals of the subject competition. This was a rare and precious opportunity for everyone. Winning the grand prize could add ten points, and the first prize could add five points. Every single point was crucial in the college entrance exam. Thus, they gave their all. The final competition was held out of town. At that time, the small river town had neither a train station nor a highway; the only means of long-distance transportation was the ships on the Yangtze River, which usually departed in the evening and arrived by morning, allowing them to save a night’s accommodation. Although slow, it was convenient.

As night fell, Li Mingyuan and Lin Xiaoyu leaned against the ship’s railing, watching the twinkling lights on the river’s surface. A slightly cool breeze from the Yangtze caressed their faces, bringing a hint of freshness.

"Xiaoyu, have you ever thought about what you want to do in the future?" Li Mingyuan asked softly, his gaze still fixed on the distant river.

Lin Xiaoyu turned her head, her eyes shimmering with gentle light under the moonlight. "I’ve always dreamed of getting into Tsinghua. They say the 21st century is the century of biology. I want to study biology, maybe uncover some causes of cancer. What about you?"

Li Mingyuan smiled, "I wish I could get into Tsinghua too. Maybe we could stay together." He felt his face heating up and hurried to continue, "As classmates."

Lin Xiaoyu lowered her head, the night veil concealing the blush on her cheeks. "Mingyuan, let’s work hard together. No matter what the future holds, at least we gave it our all."

They exchanged a smile, a warm current flowing through their hearts. On this tranquil night, two young hearts drew closer together.

However, fate always likes to play tricks. When they returned to Chongqing full of hope after completing the competition, unsettling news arrived—the SARS epidemic had begun to spread across China. Before the Chinese government had made any announcements, on March 12, the World Health Organization (WHO) issued a global alert, shocking the entire nation.

Worse still, they were unfortunately infected with SARS during their journey. It wasn't until several weeks later, on April 2, when the Chinese government finally promised full cooperation with the WHO, that discussions about it became public. They were placed in a quarantine hospital in the remote countryside. The only communication, both among themselves and with the outside world, was through small notes passed by nurses.

"Xiaoyu, are you okay?" Li Mingyuan wrote on a note, his handwriting slightly shaky from trembling.

After a long time, the nurse brought a reply: "Mingyuan, don’t worry. We will get better. I’ve been thinking, if we become biologists, maybe we can unlock the secrets of this mysterious virus and help more people like us."

Looking at Lin Xiaoyu’s somewhat weak yet still strong handwriting, Li Mingyuan felt a pang of heartache, but he was also moved by her ideals. He thought to himself, he must recover—for himself, for Xiaoyu, and for the future.

The hospital was almost empty, with only the occasional fully-clad medical staff appearing, creating a tense atmosphere. The disease progressed beyond everyone’s expectations. A week later, Lin Xiaoyu’s condition worsened. Despite the medical staff's best efforts, they couldn’t save her young life. In China, the atypical pneumonia SARS caused 5,327 confirmed cases and 349 deaths, with Lin Xiaoyu becoming one of the mournful statistics.

Upon hearing the devastating news, Li Mingyuan plunged into extreme grief. The pain felt like a tearing sensation, as if a thorned steel pen was forever engraving his beloved's name on his heart: "Xiaoyu, I will never forget."

One night, Li Mingyuan suddenly experienced a severe headache. Lying on the hospital bed, his breathing became increasingly difficult. Every breath felt like a grueling battle. Despite the assistance of the ventilator, he still felt a deep, inescapable suffocation. His consciousness began to blur. Then, the world suddenly quieted down, and he felt immensely relaxed and peaceful: the sounds of his childhood friends laughing and playing by the river under the setting sun, the clinking of cards in the teahouse quieted like the river’s gentle waves, and the surroundings were tranquil. It was as if he had returned to that day on the boat with Xiaoyu: the moonlight shimmering on the rippling Yangtze, the outlines of the stilt houses faintly visible by the riverbank, the distant factory lights flickering intermittently. Xiaoyu stood at the stern, waving at him. She seemed to emit a soft glow, as beautiful and enchanting as an angel. He mustered the courage to reach out his hand, only to find it couldn’t move, like being trapped in a nightmare.

Just as Li Mingyuan thought he would be forever stuck in this nightmare, he suddenly opened his eyes.

When Li Mingyuan opened his eyes again, he found himself lying in his home bed. Sunlight streamed through the curtains, warm and bright. The calendar on the wall showed that there was only one week left until the college entrance exams.

"Strange, wasn’t I in the hospital?" Li Mingyuan muttered to himself. But soon, he was drawn to the stack of review materials on his desk.

In the following days, Li Mingyuan was astonished to find that his study performance was unprecedentedly good. The difficult problems that once gave him headaches now seemed simple and easy to understand. In the final mock exams, his grades were always first in his grade. In his blurry memory, it seemed he hadn’t been first before.

The college entrance exams came as scheduled. On the day the results were announced, Li Mingyuan’s name appeared at the top of the city rankings. The whole school was jubilant; teachers and classmates were ecstatic, congratulating him one after another. He was ultimately admitted to the Department of Biology at Tsinghua University, entering the beautiful campus adorned with lush greenery.

However, amidst the celebratory joy, Li Mingyuan always felt that something was wrong. Whenever he tried to recall the events that had happened, his mind would present a blur. He vaguely remembered a dreadful epidemic that had once swept across China, bringing fear and chaos. But when he tried to recall the details, his mind was blank, as if those memories were deliberately erased by some force. The people around him also seemed to have collectively chosen to forget; no one talked about those dark times, as if they had never happened. The streets remained bustling with traffic, and people continued their busy lives. Li Mingyuan felt confused and uneasy, as if he alone was carrying an unknown past.

What confused him more was that he always felt the absence of someone important to him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember that person’s name or appearance. This feeling was like losing a piece of his life’s puzzle, leaving his heart with an inexplicable sensation, as if he had returned to that unreachable nightmare.

Sometimes, on quiet nights, when he gazed out at the moonlight through the window, a vague sadness would rise within him. It was as if a forgotten name he once loved was hidden in the moonlight. But every time he tried to grasp this thought, it would dissipate like smoke.

After graduating from undergraduate studies, like many Tsinghua students, he went to the United States for further education. He applied and was admitted to the graduate school of Johns Hopkins University (JHU), continuing his pursuit of a Ph.D. in molecular biology. Thus, Li Mingyuan left the small town that had given birth and nurtured him, embarking on a journey towards a broader world. Meanwhile, out of his sight, the Yangtze River gradually ceased flowing, overflowing its original riverbed, engulfing the once-familiar streets and stilt houses. The snack stalls, teahouses, and the laughter of childhood all sank into the profound depths of the water.


Chapter 3: The American Dream


In 2020, Li Mingyuan stood at the door of his home in East Tennessee, gazing at the distant Smoky Mountains. In that moment, he felt as though he had been transported back to his hometown by the Yangtze River. The rolling mountains here resembled the ones by the Yangtze, and even the moisture in the air reminded him of the familiar scent of home. This small American town nestled in the embrace of the Appalachian Mountains had four distinct seasons and breathtaking scenery. In spring, the hills were adorned with pink cherry blossoms; in summer, lush oak trees shielded the town from the heat; in autumn, the red and golden maple leaves blanketed the town; in winter, snow-covered mountains gave it the aura of a paradise. A large river flowed through the canyon at the center of the mountains. Though it couldn’t compare to the Yangtze, it similarly nurtured life here. In the small taverns by the river, country music often played. The southern twang in the singers’ voices bore a strange resemblance to the Sichuan opera Li Mingyuan remembered from the teahouses of his youth. Opening the door, Li Mingyuan saw his wife, Chen Yuwei, busy in the kitchen. Their three daughters were playing noisily in the living room. The last rays of the setting sun filtered through the windows, outlining Chen Yuwei’s soft features. She turned to meet his gaze, her eyes filled with gentle warmth, and in that instant, Li Mingyuan was reminded of another figure in the moonlight from many years ago. It was a quiet night when Li Mingyuan was taking a walk along a park path under the moon. He had just earned his PhD and secured a decent research job in the US, yet a sense of intangible loneliness always loomed over him, as though something vital was missing. That night, he met a girl through a friend’s introduction—Chen Yuwei. As they talked under the moonlight, Li Mingyuan’s eyes inadvertently met hers. His heart skipped a beat, for the warmth and familiarity in her gaze stirred a distant memory from his high school days, like a beautiful light he had once seen. Under the moonlight, Chen Yuwei’s face overlapped with the image of someone from his past. That subtle connection brought Li Mingyuan a long-lost sense of peace. It felt as though the part of himself he had lost during his senior year had finally returned. A quiet understanding existed between them, and within six months, they walked down the aisle together. Chen Yuwei became not only his wife but also his safe harbor in a foreign land. Now, in the kitchen, her smile once again brought him that indescribable sense of calm. "Mingyuan, you're back," she said softly, her voice as gentle as the rain on a quiet night in the mountains. Li Mingyuan walked into the kitchen and gently hugged his wife from behind. "What’s for dinner tonight?" He rested his chin on her shoulder, breathing in the light jasmine scent of her hair. "Your favorite, mapo tofu," she said with a smile, "and the kids’ favorite, sweet and sour ribs." The warmth of the moment filled Li Mingyuan with happiness, but deep inside, a faint and inexplicable emotion stirred. While his marriage to Chen Yuwei had brought stability to his life, he often thought about that encounter under the moon. Why had that feeling of something lost and regained been so strong? It lingered in his heart, troubling him. During dinner, their eldest daughter, Mingming, excitedly recounted a science experiment from school, while their second daughter, Jiajia, complained about her difficult math homework. Their youngest, Xiaoxiao, was busy poking at the broccoli on her plate with a fork. Li Mingyuan looked at his happy family but felt a surge of unnamed emotion. These three children, born and raised in the US, knew nothing of his hometown or his past. They spoke fluent English, but they could barely manage basic Chinese. "Dad, can you check my Chinese homework?" Mingming suddenly asked, breaking Li Mingyuan’s train of thought. "Of course, sweetheart," he replied with a smile, though a pang of guilt rose inside him. He realized he rarely spoke Chinese with his children, leaving them with little connection to their cultural roots. After dinner, Li Mingyuan sat in a rocking chair in the backyard, gazing at the sunset. He thought back to his time in the US: earning his PhD at JHU, working in New York for a few years after graduation, and finally settling in this small town that so closely resembled his hometown. Everything seemed perfect, but why did he always feel like something was missing? He suddenly realized it had been years since he had returned to China. Every time he planned to go, something would come up—either academic pressures, work obligations, or family matters. His parents had visited the US a few times, but their trips were brief, like fleeting reunions in a dream. "Why can't I ever go back?" Li Mingyuan murmured to himself. It seemed as though a mysterious force kept him anchored on this side of the Pacific, preventing him from returning home. His fingers hovered over the "book flight" button, and he clicked it. This time, he was determined to take the kids back to see China. As night fell, Li Mingyuan lay in bed, listening to the rustling of the oak trees outside the window. In the haze of sleep, he imagined hearing the sound of the Yangtze River and smelling the air of his hometown. Just as he was about to drift off, a strange thought flashed through his mind: "Could this all just be a dream?" But the thought was quickly swallowed by sleep. Li Mingyuan sank into a deep slumber, continuing his "American Dream." Meanwhile, across the ocean in his beloved yet long-unvisited hometown, the Yangtze River and the mountains waited patiently for their wandering son. As spring approached, and the date for his trip drew near, a sudden pandemic swept across the globe, plunging the world into chaos. The streets of America were empty, supermarket shelves stripped bare, and hospitals overwhelmed. People hurried by, their faces masked and eyes filled with unease. The news was filled with alarming stories, and even neighbors began to avoid one another, fearing infection. Li Mingyuan stood in an empty supermarket, staring at the barren shelves, feeling as if he were in a post-apocalyptic movie. The surrealness of it all made him wonder for a moment if he was still dreaming. The scene reminded him of a similarly dark and unspoken time before his college entrance exams in 2003. The burden of that strange dreamlike experience, always just out of reach, only deepened his confusion as reality and memory blurred.Carrying the unknown and fantastical experiences on his back always left him confused, the increasingly overlapping memories and reality made him uneasy. It was that same invisible, mysterious force. For many years, whenever he planned to return to China, unexpected obstacles would always arise—visa issues, sudden work, his wife’s pregnancy... And now, it was this global pandemic spreading from China, as if fate itself was preventing him from returning home. As a virologist, Li Mingyuan was urgently dispatched to a lab to assist in virus research. He and his team worked day and night, studying the structure and mechanisms of this unknown virus. Their research made significant progress. Li Mingyuan’s team successfully decoded the key protein structure of the virus, laying the foundation for vaccine development. Soon, several years passed, and the pandemic was brought under control in many regions. But on the other side of the world, in China, due to the lack of access to the latest medicines and vaccines, a new outbreak occurred in early 2022. Several cities, including economic hubs like Shanghai and Shenzhen, implemented strict lockdown measures. Li Mingyuan watched the lockdown in China through the news: empty streets, doors tightly shut in every household, and workers in protective suits busy in every community. Over the phone, he learned that his elderly parents were trapped at home, relying on community deliveries for food and daily necessities. Life had become incredibly difficult. The number of international flights plummeted, and the strict quarantine policies upon entry made him hesitate even more. Every time he saw the tired faces and slightly disheartened expressions of his parents, he was filled with guilt and helplessness. His achievements were useless to his own parents. The feeling of being torn between two countries deeply pained him. "Why?" Li Mingyuan often asked himself late at night, "Why can’t I go home?" The sense of being imprisoned in a foreign land filled him with frustration and helplessness. On sleepless nights, Li Mingyuan lay in bed, his thoughts drifting back to his high school days. There seemed to be a girl with a particularly sweet smile, the sunset casting a golden glow on her long hair—that was the most beautiful image in his memory. It seemed like she was the top student, she should have gone to Tsinghua, and nothing was more beautiful than her. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember her name or face. At the same time, that mysterious force preventing him from returning to China once again loomed in his mind, filling him with a strange fear. “Maybe... maybe I never should have left China,” Li Mingyuan whispered to himself, tears welling up in his eyes. As he was lost in this complex emotion, a violent cough interrupted his thoughts. Unfortunately, Li Mingyuan had contracted one of the latest variants of the virus. At first, his symptoms were mild, but they quickly developed into severe pneumonia. In the hospital, Li Mingyuan lay on a ventilator, his consciousness gradually fading. In a daze, he seemed to see that mysterious force, now taking the form of a beam of light, guiding him through time and space. The light filled everything around him. He saw himself and his friends playing by the river, catching little fish and shrimp. He smelled the spicy aroma from food stalls by the dock, and heard the laughter of people drinking tea and playing cards in teahouses. He stood by the Yangtze River, gazing at the distant mountains. He saw himself working tirelessly in the American lab. He even saw a blurry future, where he returned home with his wife and children. At that moment, a familiar yet unfamiliar figure appeared before him. It was a young girl with flowing long hair and a gentle smile on her face. She radiated a soft glow, like an angel. She was the high school classmate he could never remember. "Xiaoyu... you’re Xiaoyu!" Li Mingyuan exclaimed, blurting out a familiar name! Years of confusion were finally resolved. Lin Xiaoyu smiled and walked toward him. "Mingyuan, you’ve finally remembered." "I’m sorry, I... I forgot you," Li Mingyuan felt deep guilt. This time, he didn’t hesitate, reaching out to take Xiaoyu’s hand. "Don’t blame yourself," Lin Xiaoyu said softly, holding onto Mingyuan tightly. They gazed into each other’s eyes, just like that day when they leaned against the boat’s railing. "Sometimes, forgetting is a form of protection." She was an angel, guiding Mingyuan upwards in the light. Suddenly, Li Mingyuan heard a familiar voice calling out in Chinese: "Mingyuan, are you awake?!" The voice felt like a bolt of lightning, piercing the boundary between dream and reality. Li Mingyuan felt himself being pulled into another world, but he still clung tightly to Lin Xiaoyu’s hand, unwilling to let go. "Xiaoyu, don’t leave!" he shouted, his voice filled with sadness and reluctance. Lin Xiaoyu’s figure began to blur, but her voice remained clear, "Mingyuan, it’s time to go home." With those words, Li Mingyuan felt a powerful force pulling him back to reality. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by familiar Chinese signs. Outside the window, there it was—the Yangtze River and the mountains he had dreamed of. "I... I’m home?" Li Mingyuan murmured, unable to believe his own eyes.

Chapter 4: Awakening from the Dream

Li Mingyuan slowly opened his eyes. What greeted him was a bright hospital room, and outside the window, the skyline of a modern city stretched before him. It felt both familiar and strange, filling his heart with a tangle of emotions. The world before him was no longer the hometown he remembered but a foreign jungle of steel and glass.

“Son, you’ve finally woken up!” His mother’s voice trembled with excitement and uncontrollable tears. Li Mingyuan turned his head and saw her wrinkled face. Though she had aged significantly, the warmth in her eyes remained unchanged.

“Mom... where am I?” Li Mingyuan asked softly, his voice hoarse from disuse, carrying a tone of exhaustion.

His mother held his hand tightly, her eyes glistening with tears. “You’re home, son. You’ve been in a coma for a full twenty years. It’s 2023 now. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

Twenty years. Li Mingyuan felt a wave of dizziness, as if time had thrown him from the past into a completely unfamiliar future. His mind was filled with countless questions and anxieties, but suddenly, his thoughts paused on a familiar name.

“Mom, what about Xiaoyu? Lin Xiaoyu... how is she?” His voice was filled with urgency and a faint tremble.

His mother’s expression instantly grew heavy, and she gently shook her head. “Xiaoyu passed away long ago… before you fell into a coma. Don’t you remember?”

Li Mingyuan’s heart was gripped by an invisible hand. He closed his eyes, trying to calm the turmoil inside. The Lin Xiaoyu from his dream, the unspoken affection, and the unfulfilled promise—now everything had turned into endless regret and sorrow.

He looked around and noticed that everyone was wearing masks. “Why are you all still wearing masks? Is SARS still around?” he asked, puzzled.

A doctor walked in and gently explained, “It’s not SARS. In the years while you were asleep, the world experienced a new pandemic called COVID-19. It’s somewhat related to SARS, which is why it starts with ‘Corona.’ Although the worst has passed, the virus continues to mutate, so we still take precautions.”

Li Mingyuan listened silently, his mind flashing back to scenes from the 2003 SARS outbreak. The fear, the government’s cover-ups, and the slow response were still vivid in his memory, and then he had slept for twenty years. Li Mingyuan now realized that the lessons of SARS hadn’t truly been learned.

Lin Xiaoyu was just another statistic.

The doctor continued, “The COVID-19 outbreak happened largely because we didn’t make changes in time. The government’s response was slow, with lockdowns and isolation. Thankfully, you weren’t aware of any of it.”

He recalled the dream version of himself, living through a global pandemic. The lockdown had brought society to a standstill, forcing people to endure the pain of isolation and separation. Once-bustling streets had become desolate, life pressed the pause button, and at the same time, the economy slammed on the brakes. Countless factories stopped production, businesses closed down, and the world seemed to have lost its rhythm.

Li Mingyuan nodded, his heart filled with anger and disappointment. The negligence during SARS had planted a hidden danger, and COVID-19 had detonated it.

The doctor’s words echoed in his mind, and memories from the dream, where he had participated in the fight against the pandemic, resurfaced.

“In my ‘dream,’ I became a scientist, fighting against a similar epidemic,” he said softly, his voice filled with deep reflection. “I thought it was just a dream, but now… what’s the difference between dreams and reality?”

The changes in the small riverside town were hard for him to accept. High-rise buildings had sprung up. The river remained, but the riverside scenery was completely different. The only constant was the towering mountains on both sides of the river, still standing like shadows guarding this now not-so-small city. Wide bridges spanned the river, replacing the ferries of his memory. The once-busy boats had been replaced by high-speed trains and highways, leaving the river feeling empty.

Li Mingyuan decided to take a bouquet of flowers to the riverside, to bid farewell to Lin Xiaoyu.

At the riverside, gazing at the calm Yangtze River, his heart was filled with a flood of emotions. The places that had accompanied his childhood were now submerged beneath the deep waters of the Three Gorges Reservoir. The sandy beaches and old streets of his youth had long been swallowed by the reservoir. Everything in his hometown had changed, yet it seemed that so much had remained the same.

“Everything has changed, yet nothing has changed,” Li Mingyuan murmured to himself, reflecting on the contradictions of this era.

In his hands, he held a bouquet of white chrysanthemums.

He knelt down and slowly placed the flowers into the river, bidding farewell to Xiaoyu. The petals floated with the current, drifting into the distance, gradually disappearing on the surface of the water.

He felt the chill of the river seep into his body, marking the boundary between dreams and reality. Like the shift between day and night, they mirrored each other but would never overlap.

Dreams take me far away
Yet they bring me back to you
Your gaze still captivates me

Seeing your familiar smile
Summer’s lush vines entwined around you
Your beauty bloomed in the warmth of the sun

We walked together
On a path that no longer exists
All the way to the shores of forgotten memories

You sat quietly beside me
Listening to the river’s flow and our dreams
Just like that day, in the distant dream.


written aided and translated by chatGPT

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            六月底从希思罗机场坐上 Lufthansa 去慕尼黑的飞机就很兴奋: 在 Duolingo 上学了三年的德语终于可以派上用场了。 虽然每天就学个五到十分钟,但感觉很不错。唯一不足的就是词汇量太少,这次去试试看灵不灵。 这次是顺便小游,计划就呆三天。本来是六月到英格兰和苏格兰度假,因为从慕尼黑回美才有便宜的里程票,于是飞到慕尼黑看看老同学也顺便看看著名的新天鹅堡。(后来飞机取消,又在慕尼黑多呆了两天) 正好是夕阳落下的时候,飞机进入慕尼黑机场的 traffic pattern 。一眼望去下面的村落和小城,感觉就很不一样:一块块的农田,黄绿相间,色彩鲜明。远看小城和村庄的房屋在形式上十分统一,红色的屋顶和白色的外墙。一小簇并不高的房屋在一个广场或是一个的教堂的中心散开,似乎是统一修筑的一样。与刚过去的去过的英格兰和苏格兰各色混杂,且因为历史原因烧煤被熏黑的建筑外墙比起来,显得十分的干净整洁。 第二天开车去阿尔卑斯山区的路上,又更加深了这样的印象。 于是我一直在车里面感叹说这里视觉上很舒服,但是又说不出来个中缘由。车里面的小朋友讥笑我说是游客眼光自带滤镜,看哪里都觉得特别好。 后来仔细想了一下其实真的是不一样。 美国不少公路都很烂很老,缺乏修葺就不用说了。就像是比较好的路段,比如中部地区因为交通部联邦的拨款分的比较多,那里的不少路段已经在美国算是维护得很好或者很整洁的,看上去也很新。 但是,细节比起来还是比较粗糙不少。 比如,德国的高速行道线都是白色的, 刷得特别均匀一致, 没有一段粗一段细。线沿着公路画得非常平行。 而在美国, 路旁边的线经常是感觉划线的人手抖,方向变来变去。 用术语来说这里就是一个可导的曲线,没有奇点。所以开车人如果敏感的话,一眼望去在高速下有一种丝滑的爽感 ( BTW ,这次我最高只开到了 180 公里 / 小时,在不限速的路段)。 这种细节的妙处, 那些不开车的人自然感觉不到的。同时路边看到的,或平原或山丘,农田和红白相间的农舍都十分干净整洁,没有杂乱堆放的东西,也没有年久失修变色的房屋。即使再古老的房子,表面都是崭新的颜色。 看上去就像昨天才刷过的一样。 一路向南快到阿尔卑斯山下的时候。看到巨大的山...

又游哥本哈根:量子与童话

没想到短短三个月之后,又来到哥本哈根。 这次是短暂停留几天,参加一个学术会议。因为工作的原因,今后应该会常常路过这个有意思的城市。与哥本哈根隔海相望的瑞典,不到一个小时的地方叫Lund的小城,正在建设一个由欧洲13国共同投资的大科学装置。这样的设施在世界上也没有几个,所以设施之间的人员交流也是挺频繁的。这个学术会议本来就是为了庆祝这个设施,但是由于典型的欧洲工程是多国协调,资金很难共同到位以及Covid-19瘟疫的挑战,完成的日子一拖再拖,现在看来,至少要到明年才能开始运行了。这次的会也就差了那么一点点光环和亮点了。尽管如此,在机场入关的时候一提到是来参加这会议,海关官员就提到了举办地会展中心Bella center,一个很地标地方。看来这几天从她那里过关了不少的与会者。 虽然是国际会议,美国来的学者却不多。由于联邦政府对国际旅行限制颇多,本来占半壁江山的我们在人数上已经被来自中日韩的学者赶超了。亚洲的同仁们特别努力,特别是中国,感觉很快就要形成三足鼎立了。 说到哥本哈根,就不得不说老本行物理了。量子力学的哥本哈根诠释在差不多一百年前由玻尔和海森堡在这里提出来的。其中的波函数,波粒二象性,测不准原理就是由此被大家广泛接受并发扬光大。量子力学中仍然有一些没有解决的问题。我们工作的大科学装置,就是解决这些问题的好工具。这样的工具越来越精细,越来越大,也越来越考验国家的财力,所谓国之重器。 一众搞物理的人聚在一起到了哥本哈根。科学工作者的浪漫,要做的事情之一就是去拜谒祖师爷们。会议休息之余,约上几位从中国来的同仁去尼尔斯·波尔墓地。Assistens陵园在很中心的地带,十分的整洁精致。从各种造型的碑,或者更准确的说是艺术品一样的雕塑的铭文中可以看到这里年代的跨度很大,从18世纪到现在。里面有不少慢跑散步的人,更像是一个绿地花园,却也十分静谧。 他的墓地其实是他们一大家人共同长眠的地方,父母兄弟姐妹妻子都在一起。一块儿并不大的地方,用石头围起来。每个人的名字和生卒年份都写在很简单的石板上,中间是一根别致的石柱,顶上有一只象征智慧的猫头鹰。可惜风化严重,石柱上的铭文和这个猫头鹰都已经比较模糊了。举着淘宝同款的诺贝尔奖章与这家人合影。嗯,这一家人真是了不起:尼尔斯波尔1922年的诺贝尔物理学奖,他的儿子1975年的诺贝尔物理学奖,而他的父亲两次提名诺贝尔生理学奖。   ...

文明备份

欧洲是 Old World ,北美是 New World , 北美的文明是从欧洲而来,他们是一脉相承的。字面上很好理解,但身处其中才能体会到这种血脉相承的强烈联系。这个世界是个多元化的世界 , 各族各国各地之间都有差别 , 欧美也一样 , 特别是欧洲那么多国家。通常人们都会放大或者强调微小差别。可是把一个成长在第三文明人 , 比如我放到这种区别中 , 更能体会到的是, 99% 的那种从一种文明延续下来的共同之处。 当我在欧洲旅行的时候 , 会想这里和美国有什么区别 , 结论是没啥大的区别。语言拼写不太一样 , 可吃的东西仍然是那些 ; 基督教文明在生活中各方面的体现 ,Liberal 思潮重新解构传统文化的角度 ; 政府与人民的关系 ; 市场和超市里的货品和一张 contactless 卡或者手机走遍天下的支付方式,无不体现出欧美就是同一个世界。 从欧到美是一个文明的蔓延 , 形成了一个巨大的 , 地理位置迥异 , 大洋另一端的文明备份。这个备份让文明走得更远更长。一战二战是在这个文明上野蛮生长的肿瘤 , 抢夺正常细胞的养分到不可控制,眼看就要让整个文明崩坏掉。试想,如果没有大洋彼岸的这个 ” 备份 ” 来反哺这个文明的母体,修复创伤,会成为什么样子 . 同样,当这个文明受到外敌威胁和入侵的时候 , 这个文明的联盟才能安全 . 记得吗 , 上次蒙古铁骑扫荡欧洲的时候,没有这个文明的备份,差一点就灭绝。 中华文明是否也能得到这样的机会呢?有人会说,中华文明落后不行。每个文明都有自己的长处和短处 , 也是可以发展和更新的。只是在马列暴力革命和榨取的制度下面 , 大陆就像是肿瘤细胞堆起来的巨人 , 看似强大,每一个细胞也亢奋不已,跟打了鸡血似的 , 但总感觉哪点不对劲。回头再看看台湾 , 从那里显露出来的文化 , 才是中国中华文明的继承。兼备了许多可以从古文经典里看到的人本的态度,这种态度跟欧美不完全一样 , 是中华传统 , 又增添了一点外来文明的融合 , 给中华古老文明注入了新的血液。当年 ” 社会主义接班人 ” 的蛊惑宣传,灌输的是 ” 对待敌人如秋风扫落叶一般无情 ” 。幸好后来接触到港台影视剧和歌曲那些温情脉脉的东西被中和一下 , 才体会到人心终究是肉长的 , 以及复杂的人性。爱才是这个世界更重要的东西。这个世界不是非黑即白,而是五彩斑斓的。 现...